It is important to keep healthy human relationships to maintain a healthy mind and body.
The Universe is absolute, with which we have no cause to fight. Battles arise first when the idea of duality appears.
By focusing on the relative world, we have lapsed into the attitude that fighting is a natural thing. We have forgotten the true nature of the Universe. People today find this a very difficult concept to understand.
There are too many people today who feel it is impossible to live without conflict. There are also many who, though it means oppressing others, will stop at nothing to gain ascendancy and to win by any means.
Naturally, this situation even more difficult if these are the people who get together to discuss world peace.
If we truly desire world peace, each individual must return to the basic spirit of the Universe and understand the meaning of the principle of "non-dissension".
The general belief is that the principle of non-dissension means that we must agree with whatever anyone might say, that we are not to resist if someone should strike us, and it is a very weak way to live.
This is really not the case. The principle of non-dissension demands the strongest spirit.
It demands a complete supply of plus ki in mind and body to help us avoid receiving even a little of our opponent's minus Ki.
The situation is similar in nature to a clear spring bubbling from the bottom of a pond. On its way to the surface, not one drop of the pond's mud water enters the clean stream.
When you are filled with plus Ki and emitting it, none of the minus Ki around you can enter your body. Just as the mud waters of the pond would rush in and dirty the clear water if the spring stop flowing for even a moment, so to if you draw in you own Ki even a little, you will receive all the minus Ki around you.
Therefore, the principle of non-dissension demands a strong mind constantly filled with Ki and constantly sending our Ki to the Universe. A mind whose Ki is in perfect conflux with that of the Universe.
The way of non-dissension enables you to overcome any disappointments without grief, to laugh off any slander, and to lead any attacker without receiving the blow.
Those who cry themselves to sleep resisting nothing and replying to no ill remarks made by others, are not what we mean by the principle of non-dissension.
Locking up the speech and actions of your opponent in your heart is not real non-dissension; it is endurance. Though you say nothing with your lips, your feelings may be seething within you. Conflicts and contradiction in your mind is a sort of battle, too.
The non-dissention we are speaking of arises when we do not harbor ill feelings against our opponent's minus mind, but with the magnanimity of the sea that accepts all tributary streams, maintain a calm in our own heart.
An employee of a certain company began studying oneness of mind and body. He came to me one day with a problem. He said,
"I am frequently having conflicts of opinion with my boss at the office and that the differences would usually end in a quarrel. My boss is stubborn and I am short tempered. Though I knew fighting is not good, I could not stop. Whenever my boss said something bad to me, I always got angry. I wanted to know what I can do to solve this problem. "
"Have you leaned oneness of mind and body and mastered it?" I asked. "Yes, I understand it well."
"It's really quite easy, then. When someone says something unpleasant about you, maintain the one point in the lower abdomen, send forth powerful Ki, and do not take personally what he says. If you do this, all of the bad things the other man says will revert back to him. For instance, if your boss calls you a fool and you refuse to take in what he says, it returns to the sender, who is in effect saying that he himself is a fool. You would laugh and agree if your boss was to say to you, 'I am a fool', wouldn't you? Just try thinking this way, and watch the other man's face. The face of a man who is angry, all by himself, becomes immediately rather amusing."
He apparently immediately put my advice to practice. However angry his boss would get, he would simply smile and say, "Yes, yes." Finally his boss announced, as he stormed out, that talking to my student only made him angrier. Then he walked away.
One realizes when he sees his partner's smiling face how foolish and worthless being angry alone is.
The same is true with a threat. If the person threatened keeps one point and a calm their mind, the one to become frightened will be the man who made the threat.
A few days later, the boss asked my student, "Something's funny here. You seem to have learned something different lately."
He explained the entire thing it his boss, who said that having quarrels was so much nonsense and resolved to stop.
Often after a quarrel between friends, both say to themselves, "He was wrong, so he has to apologize first. I won't." We say that there is justice even among thieves, and in this type of conflict, both are right and both are wrong. If both people are right, there is no reason to fight.
Primarily, people who practice Ki principles always keep one point in the lower abdomen. Therefore, they should not lose their temper. We must consider losing our temper and having a quarrel, regardless of the reason, shameful.
But once it has happened, there is nothing to do about it, but immediately regain the one point in the lower abdomen, and calm your mind. If you do this, your mind become calm, removing the limits of your generosity, and become aware of your own bad points.
It is easy to see the faults of others, but not so easy to see your own, particularly when the blood has rushed to your heads. At time like this, we do not even attempt to see our won failings, but quarrel in a way to mutually point out each other's failings. If we were to examine where we have personally gone wrong, there would be no fight.
For this reason, when a fight seems imminent, keep one point little earlier than your opponent, realize your own faults ahead of time, and apologize to your opponent.
At least be prepared beforehand to forgive your friend, and you will advance one level higher than he. Fights occur because both parties are on the same level.
In the case of a mother and baby, the mother always forgives the baby. If you are on a higher level, no quarrels occur between you and others. First, accept your friend to your heart and forgive him and apologize beforehand.
Your friend will become confused and realize his own bad points.
Once you understand the value of apology, do not let yourself be carried to the ridiculous extreme of getting into quarrels over the right to say you are wrong. The short cut to a solution to the problem is to be open minded and tolerant of your friends before any fight ever starts.
Since it takes two to fight, if you will not be a part of it, no quarrel can take place.
First way "To fight and win" is the most common and is the lowest level of the three. The second method "Win without fighting", which involves complete preparation of all the conditions needed to win beforehand, is safe and is on an intermediate level between the other two.
The finest of the three, "Do nothing and win" is the safest of the three since insofar as no fight takes place no possibility of losing exists.
In this method, we potent the opponent and make him follow where we lead without fight. If we are going to win, we should win the best possible way. It is exactly because we have no cause to choose the most inferior winning method.
There was a young couple who constantly fought and who were on the verge of separation.
Since the husband was studying Ki, his friends came to me and asked me to do something.
Listening to what both sides had to say, they both had something to say about each other. I discovered that neither the wife nor the husband mentioned thier own faults but complained only about the other party.
The wife was by no means ready to give in; she gave her husband back three words for his every one.
Nothing is difficult as mediating between a quarrelling couple. Nothing one says will convince the other one.
If the mediator says the wrong thing, when the couple patch up their differences, they will direct their ill comments at him. Nevertheless, I made my decision and told the husband that he was wrong, much to his dissatisfaction and his wife's elation. This is a very fundamental idea.
I said to the husband, "Since your wife was not practicing Ki, she knew nothing about the one point in the lower abdomen and could not help getting angry. You, on the other hand, were learning Ki and are wrong not to put to actual practice what you have learned. Therefore, I say that you are wrong. If you realize that, whatever happens, whatever your wife says to you, this is the time to practice keeping the one point. Not only will you keep your temper, you will also make a great deal of progress. If you practice the one point only at the training hall and lose it when you get home, you have wasted your effort. No matter what caused the fight. Would you try it from today?" He agreed to try it from that day.
Then I explained some things to wife and taught her some basic exercises, and got her to master the one point in the lower abdomen. I said, "I realize that you are dissatisfied with your husband on a number of counts. But as you can see, he is willing to make every effort to change his ways. He lacks experience and he may forget, but won't you help him to correct his bad habits?" The wife consented. In less than a month the pair were leading a perfectly happy married life.
When a young couple gets together because they are in love everything should go along nicely. But a single dissatisfaction on the basis of the theory that minus calls forth minus, breeds further ill until the situation is irreparable.
The young husband went home, stopped at the door to make sure of the one point in the lower abdomen, and went in calling out happily, "I'm home".
In the past, the husband had gone home with minus Ki and minus thoughts at the a day at work. He thoughts, "I've got to go home now and listen to her complain".
This time, the wife realizing that this was the time to cooperate rushed to the door smiling and said, "I'm glad you are back." and made tea for him.
When she had something to say, she would try to be patient and wait, but if she just could not wait, she expressed herself as pleasantly as possible.
The husband felt better, and always spoke gently to his wife, and willing helped her with her work. Their love flowed forth.
Once they mutually changed their Ki to plus, they were once again as close as when they were newlyweds.
Later, the wife also started Ki training, and go to practice together with husband.
Winning and losing are not important a marriage where the partners mutually understand and help each other to keep things happy between them.
Though this example is one from ordinary life, it points out to the need to always remember that there is a way to avoid fighting.
There is always a way of coexistence and co-prosperity. If we have fighting in our hearts, we make enemies of allies.
If fighting is not in our mind, we have neither foes nor allies, because all of us are brothers born of the Ki of the Universe.
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